This post has moved to my official website, LisaFlemingLIVE.com!
“If I’m losing balance in a pose, I stretch higher and God reaches down to steady me. It works every time, and not just in yoga.” ~Terri Guillemets
I find myself losing balance in and out of yoga lately. Not shocking. In the past 25 days I have made a decision to move out of the country, sold one of my businesses and some of my furniture and am working on selling the other, found my cats a new loving home, taught my last class at one of my studios, started this blog, met with over 30 different friends and family members to share my news in person, made plans to teach at another retreat in Nicaragua, and those are just the things I can remember.
I suppose that’s a lot to do in 25 days, but I have so much more! I am overwhelmed. I find myself just frozen in my apartment, staring, wondering how I will sell all of my things in the next 5 weeks, and wondering what it is I’m forgetting to ask or do. As excited as I am to go, I am equally as nervous and emotional. Please don’t misunderstand me; I have zero doubt about this path I have chosen to take. What’s about to happen has been a vision in my mind for so long, I couldn’t tell you when it began. In fact, I’m still in shock that this is actually happening. What I do want to share is that I am human, and I’m willing to admit that I am all kinds of nervous.
Like the quote above, I do reach to God and my angels to calm me, to steady me, and to keep me moving forward. I have felt this kind of force before in my life. It feels like I am being moved by something more powerful than myself. Things are moving so quickly that it can’t be anything but “meant to be.” In the past, those circumstances, although painful at the time, all brought me to something more beautiful. Now, when I’m feeling the “push”, I stop fighting it and I remember to let God lead me. “Let go and let God”, my mother has always told me. It sounded so “cheesy” to me 20 years ago.
I finally understand.
I also understand that it’s ok to be nervous even when you’re happy. I understand that I will have the time of my life, while missing my family and friends back home in a way I’ve never experienced. I understand that it will be so hot I won’t want to move some days, but I won’t have a car or air conditioning. I understand it’s a third world country, and I will be without the safety of the American Justice System. I understand there are giant insects that hide in shoes, and dirt everywhere. I am ok with all of these things because I “let go, and let God”, and I let go of fear. I also understand that not everyone feels the same.
Some have asked me what the point of this is. or why I want to leave home to live in another country, especially a third world country. I answer that it has always been a dream of mine to travel, or because I want to LIVE and experience as many beautiful places as I can, and write and teach yoga and meet people. What I don’t tell them is that I really don’t know. I feel driven, pushed, guided and led to make this journey. My past has proven that this drive I have is coming from something much bigger than my little human ego. I believe I am led by my angels and God, and once I made the decision to go all the doors were opened.
My emotions are running high, I have a knot in my stomach about the work left to do, tears over the people I will miss, and I’m exhausted in every sense of the word, but I move forward. To those who’ve expressed fear or worry for me and my travels please let that go. For those who have warned me or even tried to stop me, please let that go. Don’t even own your fear, Let. It. Go. There are some who have shared all of the possible horrors that could happen to me on my trip, and I answer them that I refuse to live in fear. There is no way a possible “what if” situation would keep me from experiencing the world and living my life.
We all have our own paths to take.
When you don’t know which one is yours, “let go and let God.” Stop thinking, start feeling, and have faith that you will live the life you love. See what happens when you reach higher and let God steady you. Maybe I’ll get to see you in Costa Rica!